Haren Makedeus og basketsko-englen

af Damián Arguimbau Tegnet af Anne Pedersen

Engang for så længe siden, at man ikke engang havde årstal, var der en hare, der havde vokseværk i venstre bagben. Vokseværk er noget man nogle gange får, når man ikke er blevet otte år endnu. Så gør det lidt ondt ind imellem. Og når det gjorde ondt, så kunne haren ikke hoppe lige. Det var ret irriterende, for så vidste han sjældent, hvor han landede. Haren hed Makedeus. En dag Makedeus var ude og hoppe en tur, fik han øje på nogle gulerødder. Netop da Makedeus tog et kæmpehop hen til dem, var der pludselig en engel, der viste sig foran ham. De bumpede lige ind i hinanden. Englen fik kun akkurat grebet sin glorie. - Av for pokker! sagde den.
- Av mit venstre bagben, peb Makedeus. Vil du ikke godt fjerne din vinge fra det? Jeg har vokseværk. I bagbenet, altså.
- Undskyld, sagde englen, men det er første gang, jeg er på jorden for at tale med en hare.
- Det er i orden. Det er også første gang, jeg taler med en fugl.
- Jeg er ikke en fugl! Jeg er en engel med basketsko og glorie og kommer her for at give dig en besked fra Herren, din Gud.
- Er det ham, der får gulerødderne til at gro? spurgte Makedeus.
- På en måde. Det er i hvert fald ham, der vander dem, svarede englen og børstede jorden af sine basketsko.
- Aha, sagde Makedeus, selv om han ikke forstod et klap.
- Og det er netop vandingen af disse gulerødder, jeg skal tale med dig om. Gud har nemlig tænkt sig at det skal regne i fyrre dage og fyrre nætter i træk. Og det er ikke så godt. Han er faktisk ret sur, Gud, hvis jeg skal være ærlig. Men dig er han ikke sur på.
- Hvorfor ikke?
- Du vil som den eneste hare, bortset fra en yndig lille hunhare, jeg netop skal tale med om lidt, få lov til at leve i stedet for at drukne. Men for at redde dit liv skal du rejse et stykke vej og hen til en mand, der hedder Noah. Han har bygget et skib, han kalder en ark.
- Har han gulerødder? spurgte Makedeus.
- Ja, i spandevis.
- Så er det i orden, svarede haren. Hvilken vej?
- Lige ud og så til højre.
- Må jeg spise de gulerødder, du står på, inden jeg hopper over til ham Noah?
- O.k., sagde englen. Bare du holder op med at savle på mine basketsko. Men du skal være hos Noah inden der er gået to dage. Ellers drukner du. Og for øvrigt: Gud giver dig også evnen til at tale med alle de andre dyr, der også skal ind i Noahs skib.
Og så fløj englen sin vej.

Makedeus følte sig godt tilpas efter at have spist de lidt nedtrådte gulerødder. De havde godt nok en lille bitte bismag af basketsko, men hvad, egentlig var det ikke så galt. Så begyndte han at hoppe hen til Noah. Men englens vinge havde givet ham vokseværk igen. Snart orkede han ikke mere, og uden at give sig tid til at putte sig rigtigt i noget frisk græs faldt han i søvn.
Han vågnede med et sæt, da en dråbe faldt på hans snude. Sorte skyer trak sig sammen i himlen. Makedeus følte sig ensom og bange. Hvad nu hvis han ikke nåede frem til tiden!
Pludselig mærkede Makedeus et smertefuldt sting i ryggen. Tænk hvis han også fik vokseværk dér. Makedeus kløede sig.
- Hold så op med det, dit drog, lød en lille stemme. Makedeus holdt op med at klø sig og så sig omkring for at finde ud af, hvor stemmen kom fra. Noget landede på hans snude. Det var en loppe. Og det kløede. Makedeus stirrede på loppen (Og det var slet ikke let. Prøv selv at kigge på din egen næsetip, så opdager du, hvor svært det er).
- Er det ikke dig, der er Makedeus? spurgte loppen.
- Jo, svarede Makedeus.
- Så er det dig englen talte om. Du skal bære os hen til en, der hedder Noah, som har et langt skæg, vi kan bo i. Så se at komme i gang, for min kone har ikke godt af regn.
- Øhh, sagde Makedeus, havde den der engel sådan nogle mærkelige sko på?
- Ja, svarede loppen, men de smagte ikke særlig godt.
- Så kender jeg ham godt, sagde Makedeus. Men hvordan kan det være, at vi kan tale sammen?
- Det er Gud, der har gjort det. Har du ikke fattet det endnu?
- Nåh, ham der vander gulerødderne.
- Nej, ham, der får håret til at gro. Men se nu at komme af sted, vrissede loppen og sprang tilbage til sin kone. Makedeus synes, at det hele var lidt mærkeligt. Men i hvert fald var han ikke alene mere, tænkte han og hoppede videre.

- Det går alt for langsomt, råbte loppen omme fra Makedeus' nakke mange timer senere. Vi bliver køresyge af den måde, du hopper på. Kan du ikke hoppe mere lige?
- Nej! råbte Makedeus tilbage. Hvorfor skulle han også have lopperne på slæb? Han var træt, sulten, tørstig og skulle tisse og det gjorde ondt i benet.
- Jeg gider ikke mere! sagde Makedeus og lagde sig ned og lod som om han sov.
- Du skal! kommanderede loppen.
Men så begyndte jorden at ryste og Makedeus slog forvirret øjnene op. Så lukkede han dem hurtigt igen. Omkring Makedeus stod to elefanter, to tigre og to løver.
- Hvad er der galt med dig? spurgte den ene tiger.
- Måske kan han slet ikke forstå os, sagde hanløven og slikkede sig om munden. Og så må vi godt spise ham. Det sagde den der store hvide grib, der sagde, at han var en engel.
- Jeg forstår jer godt! råbte Makedeus. Jeg hedder Makedeus. Og du hedder løve og du hedder tiger og de der to med snabler er elefanter og Gud, det er ham, der vander gulerødderne. Så besvimede Makedeus.
- Så må vi vist ikke spise ham, ærgede løven sig.
- Det er ganske lærerigt det her, sagde den ene elefant. Det er mærkeligt, at ham Gud vander gulerødderne. Jeg troede, det var ham, der fik snablerne til at vokse.
- Når vi nu ikke må spise ham, hvad skal vi så? spurgte løven.
- Jeg bærer ham lidt, sagde huntigeren. Og så tog hun ganske forsigtigt Makedeus op i sit gab. Hun syntes, at haren lugtede lidt af basketsko, men hvad. Der var værre ting, man kunne lugte af. Så gik de videre, mens andre dyr begyndte at dukke op og slå følgeskab med dem.

Makedeus begyndte at vågne. For at han ikke skulle vågne op i et tigergab, lagde huntigeren ham tilbage på jorden. Men ser du: Tigeren gik forrest. Så alle de andre dyr blev nødt til at standse, da tigeren gjorde holdt. Dyrene dannede en ring rundt om tigeren og Makedeus for at se, hvad det var, der var så spændende, siden de alle skulle stoppe op. Da Makedeus så sig omkring blev han så forskrækket, at han var lige ved at besvime en gang til.
- Der sker ikke noget. Du er blandt venner, brølede tigeren. Det beroligede ikke Makedeus, men han var så bange, at han ikke turde andet end at nikke.
- Lad os gå videre, sagde en af girafferne. Jeg synes, jeg i det fjerne kan se det skib, englen fortalte om.
Og ganske rigtigt. Inden længe nåde de hen til køen, hvor millioner af dyr ventede på at komme ind i Noahs ark.

Noah selv stod uden for det kolonorme skib med nogle lange lister i hånden. Han var træt og sur over alle de mennesker, der stod og gloede på ham og dyrene og kom med morsomme bemærkninger eller prøvede at redde sig en frisk bøf til middagen.

- Det tog sin tid, klagede loppen. Hop hen til Noah, så vi kan flytte over i hans skæg. Din pels er våd, og min kone bliver bare forkølet.
Makedeus ville gerne af med lopperne, så han hoppede lydigt hen til Noah.
- Hej Noah! hilste Makedeus.
- Hunfugleedderkop. Et hundredemillionerfirehundredetusind og seks. Jeg har ikke tid, sagde Noah og lavede et hak på sin liste. Makedeus gik tættere på, og lopperne hoppede op i Noahs skæg, uden at han lagde mærke til det.
- Hanspiril. Et hundredemillionerfirehundredetusind og syv, talte Noah. Du må vente, til det bliver din tur, sagde Noah henvendt til Makedeus og kløede sig i skægget.
- O.k., sagde Makedeus og begyndte at gå tilbage. Men bedst som Makedeus næsten var nået helt frem til girafferne var der én, der kaldte på ham. Det var en yndig lille hunhare, som havde de flotteste ører, Makedeus i sit liv havde set.
- Jeg hedder Makadine, sagde hunharen, og fuglen med gummisko sagde, at jeg skulle finde dig og dele en spand gulerødder med dig. Makadeus glemte helt tid og sted og så ikke engang op, da han langt senere kom forbi Noah, der kløede sig i skægget og sagde: - Hanhare. Et hundredemillionernihundrede-tusind og ni.

Inde i arken blev Makadeus og Makadine vist hen i et hjørne, hvor der stod en magisk spand, der altid var fuld af gulerødder, uanset hvor mange de spiste. Så snart alle dyr var kommet ind, blev skibets indgang lukket og forseglet, så vandet ikke kunne trænge ind. Og så begyndte det at regne, sådan for alvor. Det var som om himlen var ét stort rungende vandfald. Det varede ikke længe, før alle var søsyge.

Det styrtede ned i fyrre dage. Så holdt det op. Men det tog næsten et helt år, før man kunne se jorden for bare vand. Og efter det år var Makadeus, Makadine og de ni børn, de havde fået i mellemtiden, møgtrætte af at spise gulerødder og af at sidde klemt sammen i et lille hjørne i et skib. Ingen harer har siden spist gulerødder, med mindre de var piskenødt til det. Tro mig. I dag spiser de kål, så er der nemlig masser af plads til dem allevegne, for man prutter så godt af kål.

på engelsk

Makedeus the Hare and the angel with sneakers

by Damian Arguimbau - Illustrated by Anne Pedersen - Translation by Sandra Chris

Once upon a time a long time ago, before they started counting the years, there lived a hare who suffered from growing pains in his left hind leg. Growing pains are what you get when you're not yet eight years old. It hurts from time to time. When it hurt, the hare couldn't hop straight. It was most irritating, because he seldom knew where he was going to land. The hare's name was Makedeus.

One day Makedeus was out hopping about when he saw some carrots. No sooner had he taken a great leap towards them than suddenly an angel appeared before him. They bumped right into each other. The angel only just caught his halo in time. "What the devil!" he said.

"Ouch, my left back leg" groaned Makedeus. "Please take your wing off it. You see, I've got growing pains in my back leg."

"I'm so sorry" said the angel, "but it's the first time I've come to earth to talk to a hare."

"That's all right. It's also the first time I've talked to a bird."

"I'm not a bird! I'm an angel with sneakers and a halo, and I've come here to give you a message from the Lord, your God."

"Is he the one who makes the carrots grow?" asked Makedeus.

"In a way. In any case, he waters them", replied the angel brushing earth off his sneakers.

"Ah!" said Makedeus, even though he didn't understand a thing.

"Actually it's about watering the carrots that I've come to talk to you. God has decided that it shall rain for forty days and forty nights in a stretch. And that's not good. In fact, to tell the truth, God's rather angry. But he's not cross with you." "Why not?"

"And therefore, you're the only hare, apart from the little young she-hare who I'm going to talk to soon, who'll be allowed to live instead of drown. But to save your life you've got to make a a small journey to a man called Noah. He's built a ship called an ark."

"Has he got any carrots?" asked Makedeus.

"Yes, buckets-full."

"Okay, fine then" replied the hare. "How do I get there?"

"Go straight on, and then turn right."

"Can I eat the carrots you're standing on before I start hopping over to this Noah fellow?"

"All right", replied the angel. "Just don't dribble over my sneakers. But you've got to get to Noah within two days, or else you'll drown. Oh, and by the way, God has granted you special powers so that you can talk with all the other animals going to Noah's ship."

And with that the angel flew away.

Makedeus felt quite fit after he'd eaten the slightly trampled carrots. They tasted a bit of sneakers, but so what, it wasn't that bad. Then he set off on his way to Noah. But his encounter with the angel's wing had started of his growing pains again. He was soon exhausted and before he had time to find some nice fresh grass to lie down on, he fell fast asleep. He woke up with a start when he felt a drop fall on his nose. Black clouds gathered in the sky. Makedeus felt alone and frightened. What if he didn't get there in time! Suddenly Makedeus felt a painful sting in his back. What if he got growing pains there too! Makedeus scratched himself. "Stop it, you idiot", came a tiny voice. Makedeus stopped scratching himself and looked around to see where the voice was coming from. Something landed on his nose. It was a flea. And it tickled. Makedeus stared at the flea (and it wasn't easy - you try looking at the end of your nose, then you'll see how difficult it is).

"Aren't you Makedeus?" asked the flea.

"Yes" replied Makedeus.

"So you're the one the angel was talking about. You're supposed to carry us to someone called Noah, who's got a long beard we can live in. So let's get going because my wife's not feeling so well with all this damp weather.

"Oh!" said Makedeus. "Was the angel wearing some funny shoes?"

"Yes" answered the flea, "but they didn't taste very good'"

"Ah! Now I know who you mean" said Makedeus. "But how's it possible that we can talk to one another?"

"It's God who did it. Haven't you understood that yet?"

"No. You mean the one who waters the carrots?"

"No, the one who makes hair grow. But come on, let's get going" snapped the flea and jumped back to join his wife. Makedeus thought it was all a bit odd. But at least he wasn't alone any more, he thought, so he started hopping on his way.

"You're going much too slowly" shouted the flea from deep down in Makedeus's neck many hours later. We're getting travel sick from the way you're jumping. Can't you jump straighter?"

"No!" Makedeus shouted back. Why should he have to lug fleas along with him? He was tired, hungry, thirsty and wanted to pee, and had pains in his leg. "I've had enough", said Makedeus, "I can't go on", and laid down pretending he was asleep.

"You've got to", ordered the flea. But then the ground started to shake and Makedeus opened his eyes in bewilderment - and then closed them again quickly. Standing around Makedeus were an elephant, a tiger and a lion..

"What's the matter with you?" asked the tiger.

"Maybe he can't understand us" said the lion licking his lips. "In that case we can eat him. That's what the big white vulture said, the one who called himself an angel."

"I can understand you perfectly well" yelled Makedeus. "My name is Makedeus. And you're a lion and you're a tiger and the one with the trunk is an elephant, and God, he's the one who waters the carrots", and with that Makedeus fainted.

"So now I suppose we can't eat him" grumbled the lion to himself. "This is all very enlightening" said the elephant. "It's strange to think that God waters the carrots. I thought he was the one who made our trunks grow."

"Now that we can't eat him, what shall we do?" asked the lion.

"I'll carry him a bit", said the tiger. And so saying she gently picked up Makedeus in her mouth. She thought the hare smelled a bit like sneakers, but so what. There were worse things one could smell of. And so they went on, while other animals began to appear and joined them on their way.

Makedeus started to wake up. So that he wouldn't find himself waking up inside a tiger's mouth, the tiger put him down on the ground. But see what happened - the tiger was in front, so when he stopped all the other animals had to stop too. They formed a ring around the tiger and Makedeus so they could see what was so exciting that had made them all come to a halt. When Makedeus opened his eyes and looked around he was so scared, he almost fainted again.

"Don't worry. You're among friends" roared the tiger.

That didn't comfort Makedeus, but he was so afraid that he didn't dare do anything but nod.

"Let's go" said one of the giraffes. "I think I can see the ship in the distance that the angel talked about."

And sure enough, before long they reached the queue where millions of animals were waiting to go into Noah's ship.

Noah himself was standing outside the enormous ship with some long lists in his hand. He was tired and bad tempered with all the people who stood around glaring at him and the animals, shouting wisecracks or trying to wangle some meat for lunch.

"It took long enough", complained the flea. "Just hop over to Noah so that we can move to his beard. Your fur is wet, and my wife's catching a cold." Makedeus was anxious to get rid of the fleas, so he dutifully hopped over to Noah.

"Hey, Noah" greeted Makedeus.

"She-birdspider. One-hundred-million-four-hundred-thousand-and-six. I haven't time", said Noah, and made a cross on his list. Makedeus got nearer to him, and the fleas hopped out into Noah's beard without his noticing.

"He-monkey. One-hundred-million-four-hundred-thousand-and-seven" counted Noah. "You must wait your turn", said Noah turning to Makedeus and scratching his beard.

"Okay," said Makedeus, and started on his way back. After he'd gone nearly all the way back to where the giraffes were, he heard someone calling him. It was a pretty little she- hare with the loveliest ears that Makedeus had ever seen in his life.

"My name is Makadine" said the she-hare, "and the bird with the sneakers said I should find you and share a bucket of carrots with you." There and then Makedeus forgot all about time and place and didn't even look up much later when he went passed Noah, who scratched his beard and said: "he-hare, one-hundred-million-nine-hundred-thousand- and-nine."

Once aboard the ark, Makedeus and Makadine were shown to a corner where there was a magic bucket that was always full of carrots, no matter how many they ate.

As soon as all the animals had gone on board, the ship's gangway was closed and sealed so that water couldn't seep in. And then it began to rain in earnest. It was as if the sky was a gigantic booming waterfall. It wasn't long before everyone got seasick.

It poured for forty days. And then it stopped. But it took nearly a whole year before one could see land instead of just water. And after that year Makedeus and Makadine and the nine children they had had in the meantime were very tired of eating nothing but carrots and of sitting cramped together in a little corner of a ship. Since then no hare has eaten carrots unless they absolutely had to. And that is the reason why today hares eat cabbage. This way there's is always plenty of room for them everywhere, because you really make incredible smellies when you eat cabbage!